Feeling empty sucks. For people that dabble with

Depression I am sure you more than know what I am speaking of, merely from the mention of the word “empty”. More than often, this empty feeling is brought on by our own doing, however; it is usually triggered by the unintentional actions of another. I say unintentional because nine times out of the ten, other people have no idea what is going on in our twisted little minds.

The trouble with depression is, that we feel at home in our sadness. It becomes a comfort and it is hard for us to leave. Mostly, because when we do, we are only let down again. It is so wonderful to feel full of life, a euphoria so great that we want to and wonder why we can’t feel that way all of the time!!! But for most of us, it simply is not possible. The feeling that follows, once the “happiness” diminishes, is worse than just being sad all of the time. The numbness that kicks in just…..hurts. To us, it is better to just stay level, never expect anything more, and then we are not disappointed. Even though, we are in our own mellow sadness, we are safe. At least we are not getting let down, our hearts are tucked away out of reach. It may be “blah”, but it is comfortable.

Most of the reason behind this type of depression, (because there ARE so many different types) is life. Usually when people with the “emptiness” depression (my own word for it) are people that have gone through some traumatic experience in their lives, usually more than one, but have never fully opened up about it, much less fully dealt with it. In fact, in some cases, we may not even remember parts of it, or in other cases, any of it, we just know it is there. It is there like a haunting shadow, lurking in the dark, just waiting for the right moment to pounce, and it does so, at the worst times. It is hard to explain, but, once a person has walked in those shoes, it makes perfect sense.

While this type of depression can cause many problems, especially in social aspects and even more so in relationships, personally I do not think it is as serious as some other types. Personally speaking, I do not think it ever reaches the point of being suicidal, even though,there have been times that the thought has crossed my mind. I simply know I would never commit such a selfish act because I am simply not capable of hurting the ones that truly DO love me, that much. I think the best type of therapy for this type of depression is Cognitive Talk Therapy. I think that if there is some way, we can trust someone enough, just to talk and have them truly listen, I find that it helps greatly. Since I believe, personally speaking, that “emptiness” is what this type of depression is based on, just being able to “fill-up” every now and then can alleviate most of the pain, or at least a great deal of it.

Be easy with people, and keep in mind, most have no idea what you may have been through, much less what you are going through, and most of the time people do not intentionally dismiss you, or forget about you, or make you feel alone. We are a product of our own circumstances, and must remember that other people simply have no idea how we are feeling, because lets face it, we are all experts at appearing “normal” to the outside world, are we not? One of our best qualities if hiding our pain. To all that suffer with the endless “emptiness depression” may we all find our much needed re-fill on a regular basis. Keep the glass at least half full, at least it makes life a little easier, and happiness not so far out of our reach. Good Luck.