I’ve got to find a box, to fill with this pain,

if I could somehow make that happen, maybe I wouldn’t think of you again.

Why did you pretend, that you even cared, was it just for show, a good intention?

Was is just a coincidence I was never mentioned? I was so unprepared…

for the second round of damage, that I didn’t see,

took me by surprise and Blind-sided me.

Just tossed me to the wind, like a

discarded candy wrapper, you said YOU would be so much HAPPIER..

I have a question for you, did it make you feel better? To say you tried

but you just couldn’t deal with this disaster? This disaster of a person

that you make me out to be, the tiny little girl, you chose to set free….

Not once but twice, without a second thought, did it ever occur to you that

you were breaking my heart?

Did you forgive yourself and make amends? Do you look better now to all

of your friends? That IS what it was about right? Because it sure wasn’t

about me, what a fool I was to think you would ever want me to be, the daughter

that I so desperately wanted you to see.

So I will get out this box, and add the rest of my pain, to the already filed

stack of rejection and shame. Should I tape it up real tight and never open it

again? Or would that be letting YOU win…..? I guess it doesn’t matter,

it just wasn’t meant to be, in the beginning and now, you never wanted ME.

#LostChild

Jaime’s Voice

Sept 11, 2017